Premonition of the Past
by Confureku
Summary: I suppose I should start from the beginning, that way I can show you just how I changed, what brought me to this world, and what brought me to this dungeon, awaiting a trial by King Thranduil.
1. Introduction

A/N: Alrighty, this story does not seem to be going so well, so I decided that it's time for a change. I'm redoing it, and I hope it's better this way. It certainly catches one's attention a lot more quickly, so here you go, enjoy!

You know, everybody thinks that Elves are the nicest damned creatures in middle earth. And, in fact, most of them are, but you know there are some that just, well, aren't. Of course, being me, I've had the misfortune of pissing off one of the most ruthless Elves that there is. The most unfortunate bit of the whole situation, however, is that I most likely deserve this Elf's wrath and not only that, but the whole of the Mirkwood population thinks that I'm a boy. Of course, I've done nothing to discourage this rumor, because it has, in fact, served me well in the past.

If people think that I'm a boy, then they can't bloody well find me when I'm dressed as a woman, now can they? Now, I suppose you're wondering what in the hell I'm talking about, right? Well, let me explain my situation. Here I am, in the dungeons of Mirkwood. That's right, I've gone and pissed off Thranduil. Which, by the way, was not a smart thing to do. Now, keep in mind, I wasn't trying to piss him off, I was just doing what I felt I had to do to survive, and if that meant pilfering from his royal highnesses subjects, then so be it.

You can't blame a girl for trying to survive, now can you? Well, apparently Thranduil _can_ and he has. It seems that there are actually a great deal of people who wanted to catch me and I had the extreme misfortune to be caught by a group of Elves, a few of which I knew.

The irony of this situation? I used to be a shy, easily intimidated person. I never would have dreamed about stealing anything from anybody, but hey, you have to work with what life gives you, right?

As I was saying, however, I was caught within the borders of the Druadan forest, as it seems my (unknown to me at the time) notorious reputation had led my captors. Had I know that I had become so famous I suppose that I would have been more careful, but as it is, I was caught and dragged about four hundred miles to Mirkwood to await judgment from the king.

Now, as I said before, I knew a few of the Elves that caught me, meaning two were my friends, and a couple others I had met once or twice. It took a few weeks for us to get to Mirkwood and in that time they never realized whom I was, of course, I didn't volunteer any information about myself and as I said before, I've changed a lot. So they treated me as they would any criminal stranger, rather coldly, as it were, and were only too happy to throw me into the dungeon themselves.

As I sit here, awaiting trial, I am well aware of the fact that I have not bathed in about two weeks. I know, gross. The scent has, in fact, knocked me out a few times, which is useful in its own way, as the time passes more quickly when I am unconscious, but I digress.

I wasn't alone in my act of pilfering, mind you, but I am the one on trial because I am the leader, as it were, of a group of bandits. This wasn't my choice, I was, in a manner of speaking, forced into the position. How can one be forced into the position of leader of a group of bandits, you ask? Well, you don't know these men. They seem tough at first, but they are a rather sensitive lot, as I found out when I had beaten a few of them up after they tried to rob me. One of them had started crying and one of the others was calling for his mother. I found out that these men were big babies.

These men that I was in charge of are the only ones who know that I'm really a girl. In fact, they were the ones who helped to spread the rumor that I was a boy.

I didn't know what I had gotten myself into at the time, but it seemed logical enough that I travel with these men so that I might make a living. You see, I wasn't really familiar with the landscape of the region I was in, or, in actuality, the world that I was in.

I know, I know, now you think I'm a nutter, right? Well, I promise you, it's true. I used to be a masseuse who lived in a little cabin in the woods. I used to be plagued by dreams that would nearly literally drive me nuts. I followed one, one night that seems like forever ago, and it brought me here in a way slightly reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

Does that mean that I'm going to wake up from this weird world and find that I was really dreaming the entire time? I hope not because, honestly, even while awaiting trial, I like it better here.

Ah, there I go again, my thoughts are so scattered. I suppose it would be easier to start from the beginning. That way I can show you just how I changed, what brought me to this world, and what brought me to this dungeon, awaiting a trial by King Thranduil.


	2. The Beginning

Chapter 1  
  
The Beginning

I sat bolt upright in bed. A sheen of sweat covered my body as I panted loudly. Moonlight filtered in through my fluttering white curtains.  
  
I swung her legs over the side of the bed, placing my feet on the cold stone of the cabin floor. Walking quietly, I padded over to the window. It was cool out. The end of the summer winds were whispering of the winter to come. I took a deep, steadying breath and let it out shakily. I'd had the dream again.  
  
The moon was nearly full. Soon the woods would be alight with the soft glow that the moon always cast. The light breeze coming in through the window played with the ends of my hair. I closed her eyes and listened to the noises that formed the music of the night.  
  
I knew that I really should go to bed as I needed to be up early for work the next day, but I was afraid that the dream would come back again. Turning my head, I glanced at the clock that was on the nightstand. 2:17 am. I had to be up in less than four hours.  
  
It was almost always the same in the dream. I was needed somewhere. Something was calling to me, but I was unable to get to it. The dream always began with me walking through the woods. I was searching for something, but didn't know where to go. A voice would call out my name. I would turn to look at the person calling me, but before my eyes could fall upon them, I would wake up in a cold sweat.  
  
These dreams were the very reason that I had moved into a cabin in the first place. It was a vain attempt to make them stop.  
  
I thought that I might find some relief if I moved near the forest, but to my dismay the dreams had only gotten worse, and worse still, I no longer had the finances to move away. It seemed that nobody had wanted to buy the cabin, so the sellers were more than relieved when I bought it, and I knew that I would have the same trouble trying to sell it.  
  
I sighed in exasperation. What had I done to deserve such torment every night? Finally giving up on my thoughts, I walked to the door of my bedroom and opened it, stepping out into the hall.  
  
After I entered the kitchen, I pulled a cup out of the cabinet and filled it with water from the tap, drinking the cool liquid slowly. I sat down at the table, swishing the water around in the glass before me.  
  
What should I do? Should I go back to sleep, or just sit here until I have to go to work? Usually I would go jogging, but it was still much too early to go out in the woods, when it was still very dark out.  
  
The coming day didn't look very promising. It would be a very hard day at work. There were about fifty guests coming to the spa today, and since I was a masseuse my work would be cut out for me.  
  
At times I wondered about my choices. My life had been difficult since I'd moved out at the age of seventeen. My life had not been TOO terrible, but I had felt smothered by my parents. They were always pushing me further than I could handle, and that was how a new problem developed for me.  
  
Because of my parents saying I could do something, and my constantly failing at it, I had grown up with a severe lack of confidence. Not only that, but after all the stress of always failing, I'd also developed an ulcer.  
  
It didn't hurt me constantly, but if I were to get too nervous, worried, stressed, or ate the wrong thing, it would ache terribly.  
  
I laid my head upon the cool surface of the table and sighed, weary of my thoughts. Before I realized it, I had fallen asleep.  
  
The light breeze picked up outside, lowering the temperature of everything it touched. Its whispers seemed to weave through the grass, calling out with their haunting songs. Winter's first frost crawled across the ground, its crystals like spiders, spreading out and scampering across the ground, sucking up heat with their greedy, icy claws.  
  
The trees creaked and moaned at the abuse of the wind. I stirred, but did not wake, I did not realize that soon the mysteries of my dreams would unravel. Very soon, I would no longer be able to stand the calling. 


	3. The Confrontation

The Confrontation  
  
"Damnit!" I swore loudly as the door behind me slammed shut. I cradled my right foot, balancing on the other as I did so.  
  
"Stupid table!" I placed my foot on the floor gingerly, testing out my stubbed toe. As I had guessed, today had not been the best. Since I fell asleep at the kitchen table the alarm in my bedroom had not woken me up, thus I had been late to work.  
  
After I got there my boss had lectured me about being late, cut my pay, and then sent me straight off to massage a fat old man who had smelled of feet.  
  
Now I was on my break. I sat down at the table in the small employee lounge and dug in my bag, realizing after a moment that in my haste that morning, I had forgotten my lunch. I groaned. How much worse could it get? I stopped myself after that thought. Whenever someone thought that, it always got worse.  
  
I pulled some quarters out of my bag and walked over to the vending machine. I inserted the quarters and hit a button, listening as the machine made a grinding noise, finally spitting out a bag of cookies. I sat down at the table again and began to eat my cookies and by the time I finished them my break was over.  
  
I walked down the hall to "my" room. All the masseuses had their own room that they went to everyday. The way the spa worked was that people could come in, swim, exercise, soak, or get a massage, but only members of the "club" were allowed.  
  
People chose whatever room they wanted for the massage, so if they had a favorite masseuse, they knew which room they were in every time. I was one of the more popular masseuses since I was quite good at my job (one of the few things I was good at), so I was always busy, but I was still paid less than all the other employees because I was "the new girl."  
  
I walked in and saw someone lying on the table. "Good afternoon, sir," I said automatically.  
  
The man did not bother responding to me, just looked at me expectantly. I was used to it. The spa was a nice one, a high class one; therefore most of the people who came to it were rich snobs. They saw me as a mere servant and didn't usually trouble themselves with responding to me.  
  
Dipping my hands into the basin of cool oil beside the table, I began to massage the young man. As I worked the kinks out of his muscles I let my mind wander.  
  
Today, after work, I was going shopping. This thought cheered me up a bit. I rarely had enough money to go shopping, so when I did it was an occasion for celebration. Earlier I had decided that I would like to buy candle wax and some scented oils so that I could make candles.  
  
It would help me in more ways than one. Not only would I have fun making candles, but I could save money on electricity by burning them for light (to say the least, I didn't have much money so I spared all that I could).  
  
I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of someone's irritated voice.  
  
"Sorry, what did you say?" I asked politely.  
  
"I told you to do it harder," the man said in a haughty fashion. I pressed into his muscles harder. Dear god, I couldn't wait for work to be over.  
  
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The woods were quiet all around me. A feeling tugged at me, beckoning towards me as I traveled through the woods at night. My feet touched the gelid surface of the ground, chilling at its touch.  
  
A voice called out to me. "Come on Colleen, you can do it."  
  
I continued to walk forward toward the voice. Twigs bent under my feet but did not break, allowing me to travel in silence.  
  
"Colleen. Colleen." The voice seemed to move around the forest, first appearing on my left side, then on my right.  
  
"Colleen," it called from behind me. I turned to look at it.  
  
"COLLEEN!!!"  
  
I jumped and stood quickly, rubbing my eyes so that I could focus on the person before me.  
  
"It's a good thing Jim didn' find ya asleep in here!" Sam cried. The woman gave me a reproachful look. Sam's face was worn and wrinkled from the hard labor she had done in her life. She was around the age of thirty, but looked much older. She'd been working at the spa for over ten years and had been visibly drained by it. The poor girl didn't seem to have much life left in her.  
  
"Ya better hurry up! Ya have to clean the tub today, orders o' Jim." Jim was our boss and if he had found me asleep I would've been fired. My heart dropped. Cleaning the tubs was the worst, dirtiest job I could get.  
  
I was most likely being punished for being late this morning. There went my shopping trip, unless I could clean the tubs in record time.  
  
"You musta done somethin' real bad to make him have ya do that," Sam said.  
  
"I was late this morning."  
  
"Just late eh? Hmm, he seems to be over reactin' just a bit, don' ya think? I mean, I heard about all the other things he had ya doin earlier. You were the one that got that stinky old man weren' ya?"  
  
I smiled at Sam. "Yeah, I was."  
  
"Jeez, he musta been awful mad at you fer somethin' else. Ya didn' insult him did ya?"  
  
"Insult him? Why would I call him names?"

"I didn' quite mean it like tha', Colleen."

"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, ya see, he's a lover of women, so I 'eard, and, well this is just what I 'eard, but he's made a pretty few passes at some o' the younger women that work fer him."  
  
I paled.  
  
"Now take it with a grain o' salt, dear, I don' mean nothin' by it, all I'm sayin' is fer ya to watch yerself, okay?"  
  
I nodded. Sam walked out the door, most likely to go home for the day. Walking over to the cleaning closet, I pulled out rubber gloves, cleaning solution, and a scrub brush. I walked dejectedly to the room full of tubs and set about the task of cleaning twenty of them.  
  
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"Jim is such a jerk!" I cried. It had been three hours since I'd first started scrubbing and I still had four tubs left. Even if I _had_ been late, he shouldn't have made me do ALL of them! He never would have made any of the other employees do all of the tubs by themselves, he only ever did that to me.  
  
A door opened and closed to the room I was in, then the sound of someone walking could be heard. Since I was currently crouched down in one of the tubs, scrubbing the bottom, I couldn't see who it was, and I was pretty sure that they couldn't see me, which I was grateful for.  
  
I was just thinking about how much I didn't want to deal with someone when a thought occurred to me. What was somebody doing here this late? I froze. Fear began to build up inside of me. The footsteps were coming towards _me_.  
  
Should I look to see who it was? If I did the person might see me. Even if they didn't see me right away when they walked past the tub I was in I would be easily seen.  
  
Should I run for it? Then they would see me for sure, but I would have a head start getting away. My heart beat loudly in my ears as it quickened with the beginnings of panic. My mind screamed at me to run, but part of me said to stay and hide here.  
  
Before I could decide fully, however, the footsteps stopped beside the tub I was in.  
  
"Well, well, Colleen. Still here are you?"  
  
I flinched at the voice. It was Jim.  
  
"Yes," I replied cautiously. "I haven't finished with the tubs yet."  
  
"Go ahead and get out of the tub, you don't have to do the rest."  
  
I felt relief wash over me as I stood and moved to climb out of the tub. However, since I had just been washing it, it was wet and slippery, so I slid back inside.  
  
Jim laughed and held out his hand to me. I took it and climbed out, but as I trued to pull away, Jim pulled me towards him, hugging me to his body. I stiffened immediately.  
  
"Jim? U-um, what are you d-doing?"  
  
"How would you like to earn a raise?" he asked, his voice taking on a tone that freaked me out. My eyes widened and I lifted my hands to push away from him. Jim used one of his hands to grab one of mine, stopping me from pushing away.  
  
"Don't you want a raise Colleen?"  
  
What should I do? If I did what he wanted I would get more money, which I desperately needed. If I didn't, however, I would probably be fired. Usually I would just find another job, but Jim had some influence in the town and if I refused him I was sure that he would see to it that I never got hired.  
  
Just as I had that thought, Jim spoke.  
  
"You know what I can do to you if you refuse me."  
  
Chills ran up my spine. Would I be filthy if I succumbed to him? I couldn't do it. Even just thinking about it caused bile to rise up in my throat. I pushed away from him. I would be nice and try to keep my job if I could.  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't."  
  
I winced inwardly as anger contorted his face.  
  
"Colleen, this is not a wise decision."  
  
"I-I know sir, but I can't, I'm really sorry."  
  
"C'mon, it's okay, none of the other girls will find out about it."

"N-no, I'm sorry sir, but I really can't do something like that."

"Colleen..........." he trailed off, reaching up to grab my chest.

I panicked, pushed him off of me, and said no again, more forcefully this time.

"Nobody says no to me!" he yelled, his face turning red.  
  
I bit back the smart ass remark that _I_ had just said no to him. I backed away from him, intent on leaving. As I turned and began to walk away, however, I felt someone grab my arm and turn me around sharply.  
  
Before I had the chance to resist someone was kissing me roughly. I pushed away quickly, looking at him with wide eyes. Jim grabbed me again, forcing me to the ground. I couldn't move. For a moment I remained frozen, not fully grasping what was happening to me, but then it hit me. I could very well be raped tonight. I began to struggle violently, clawing at his face and hitting him every chance I got.  
  
It seemed that my struggle only made him angrier. He pinned me to the ground with his body, then pulled his hand back and struck me hard across the face. My vision blurred for a moment as my head swam and I knew- with an absurd thought for what was going on at the moment- what people were talking about when they said they saw stars. Little bursts of light flashed behind my eyes, but as my eyes focused panic rose up in me once again.  
  
I struggled blindly, lashing out anywhere I could as he touched me. Finally, one of my legs connected with his groin and he collapsed on top of me in pain. I panicked again and shoved at his body, trying to get him off of me. I stumbled to my feet after I finally got him off and began running towards the door.  
  
"Colleen!" Jim yelled. "You're fired! You'll never work again!"  
  
It occurred to me how terribly cliched that line sounded, but his words barely registered as I sprinted out of the building and towards the woods where my house lay.  
  
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My fingers reached up to touch the tender skin that was marred by a bruise. I sucked a sharp breath in through my teeth as my finger came in contact with my face. I looked in the mirror before me, staring at my face.  
  
I no longer had a job; I knew that, which meant that I would be out of food shortly. I may not even have enough for the rest of this week and it was Thursday. That was, indeed, how I had remained thin in the first place. I wasn't a stick by any means, but I wasn't large either, and I certainly hadn't stayed that way by exercising.  
  
I'd never had a surplus of money for fine foods. All I could afford was the very basics like bread, milk, peanut butter, cheese, and macaroni (yes, macaroni is a basic, damn you!). Now, if I were to suddenly come into money, I would never eat those foods again.  
  
Although I would save up so that I could buy myself the occasional presents, like the candles I was supposed to get today, I would not spend the extra money on expensive foods. Eating was eating, but the only way that I could remain sane out here without friends, family, or even the peace of sleep, was by getting something to make me happy every one in a while.  
  
I trudged over to the door and opened it, walking into the hall and then my bedroom. I lay in my bed and pulled the blankets up to my chin. Closing my eyes, I settled my mind for the night. I would have to go looking for another job in the morning and hope that Jim hadn't tarnished my working reputation too much.


End file.
